Bunny Basher

Sorry. Easter is CANCELLED- I had no choice!!! m4w (Boston)
It saddens me to have to be the one to tell you this bad news (not really), but nevertheless, I'm here to tell you that Peter Frickin' Cottontail won't be hip pity-hop pity bouncing down the bunny trail any time soon and here's why.

It's holidays like Easter that remind me I still don't have a special lady in my life. So this year, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I had a choice to make--either show up at yet another Easter Dinner without a date or cancel the whole damn thing holiday altogether.

Needless to say, I went with plan B and as you can see from the picture, I was quite successful and the task has been carried out. My deepest apologies to all your little kids for putting the kibosh on all their your chocolate covered easter egg hunting dreams. Look on the bright side. You can thank me for saving you from having to tolerate all those calorie inducing kids bouncing off the walls sugar buzzes.

So that's it. Easter is canceled and there isn't anything anyone can do about it. While I'm at it, be forewarned. Christmas will be here soon enough and I refuse to go through that whopper of a holiday all alone ever again, so I have a few ideas how to deal with Jolly Ole' Saint Freaking Nick (for you blondes-that would be Santa Claus).

Bottom line is this: if your somewhere between 30 and 40 and like a guy with an obviously demented sense of humor, you should reply to this posting. You might possibly save a lot of people from another not so jolly holiday surprise.

Okay. That's it. hop hop......I mean...chop chop.

(sorry--I'm still reveling in my ultra-successful mercenary rabbit removal program. Anyone need a rabbits foot??)

No comments: