I give up! Now seeking a pretend relationship!- m4w (Dallas)After reading ad after ad on Craig's List about individuals seeking to find a relationship offering meaning, contentment, or an opportunity to be spanked by a dominant transgender nun, which never come to fruition, I have decided that all I really want right now is a pretend relationship.
The benefits of a pretend relationship lie in being able to communicate (via email only) with another individual about things that are not actually occurring in one's life. It's the incredible chance to be completely dishonest with another individual who wants nothing more than a beautiful pretend connection with another soul. Which seems to be the case anyway...so I'll go with it.
We needn't share photos, real names, or accurate personal data. I will never ask you to call me, meet me, or send me your bank account routing number to help a deposed Nigerian dictator who will pay you back in millions. I just want to have a deep, intense relationship that has no actual roots in reality. Since 90% of the replies on here are spam and the other 9% are full of shit and have so much baggage that American charges them $300 fee for their checked baggage!
To be my pretend girlfriend, you must be exceedingly intelligent, articulate, and edgy. Your sense of humor must be phenomenal -- I would never pretend date someone who was not incredibly funny. You should be quite beautiful with striking features, (though I will never really know if it's true). It's essential that your mastery of English includes proper spelling. I will pretend break-up with you in a heartbeat if you make lots of typos. That's a major turn off...
I am (in truth, just this once) a really bright, very good looking physician, who is probably running a bit hypomanic in recent weeks. I am coming off of a very painful pretend-break up, so I might be pretend rebounding right now.
Potential pretend girlfriends please note: I will not respond to any replies that include photos of your penis. (I don't expect any such replies, but it seems like that's what everyone writes at the end of their ads...)