Thanksgiving Personal Ad Feast

Editor's Note: Happy Turkey Day Dearest Readers! We are too lazy and stuffed to come up with a better posting title. We know the holidays are tuff to spend alone however it does make for some mighty tasty personal ads and headlines. Enjoy the holidays and football! BURP!
Burpin' Cursin' Fartin' Football Watcher 4 Eggnog Makin' Turkey Cooker (Sacramento)
Impress your family...? I shall not.

BUT if you need a random dude to belch, swear like a sailor, and pass gas...then I need a chick to keep the brandied eggnogs a-comin'. Three fingers, Woman. And flame that bird to perfection. Not to mention, the stuffin'. I gotta have my stuffin'. Candied yammms...!!! I'll sing about it. I'm like Bing-O Crosby. It's a white Christmas in this bitch, yo. Gravy...mashed taters.

For all your grand efforts and hours, you shall receive repeated smacks on the ass. And loud ovations. Three-fold, Mama. Another beer, please, Woman. If the cookin's good, you may also receive hard pinches of the nips. It's not my fault. It's the brandy. Makes me inaccurate. Be thankful I ain't shagged your sister, Woman. Well, there's always a second date. How you doin', Sis?

Pic 4 pic. And you betta cum through with that turkey.

Git sum! Before I pass out and shit myself. Whoa...;P

Check out these lovely Thanksgiving themed headlines:

I will stuff your Turkey - 35

I'll muff punch you if you steal my last turkey pot pie. - 26 (twin cities)

PS. Enjoy
"Thanksgiving" faux trailer by Eli Roth(Hostel), from the film "Grindhouse".

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