Burpin' Cursin' Fartin' Football Watcher 4 Eggnog Makin' Turkey Cooker (Sacramento)Impress your family...? I shall not.
BUT if you need a random dude to belch, swear like a sailor, and pass gas...then I need a chick to keep the brandied eggnogs a-comin'. Three fingers, Woman. And flame that bird to perfection. Not to mention, the stuffin'. I gotta have my stuffin'. Candied yammms...!!! I'll sing about it. I'm like Bing-O Crosby. It's a white Christmas in this bitch, yo. Gravy...mashed taters.
For all your grand efforts and hours, you shall receive repeated smacks on the ass. And loud ovations. Three-fold, Mama. Another beer, please, Woman. If the cookin's good, you may also receive hard pinches of the nips. It's not my fault. It's the brandy. Makes me inaccurate. Be thankful I ain't shagged your sister, Woman. Well, there's always a second date. How you doin', Sis?
Pic 4 pic. And you betta cum through with that turkey.
Git sum! Before I pass out and shit myself. Whoa...;P
Check out these lovely Thanksgiving themed headlines:
I will stuff your Turkey - 35
I'll muff punch you if you steal my last turkey pot pie. - 26 (twin cities)
PS. Enjoy "Thanksgiving" faux trailer by Eli Roth(Hostel), from the film "Grindhouse".