10/29/08

Placenta Brained Wants Puss Fruits

Editor's Note: This personal ad poster appears to be suffering from a common condition coined, "baby rabies". This disease drives baby-obsessed women completely out of their once fully-functioning minds. These infected women lose track of the adult world and begin to talk nonstop about baby making. Some possible cures are babysitting and going to places where children are left screaming and unattended (such as libraries or malls). Others suggest the only way to cure this infection is to have a baby. Special thanks to Sean for spotting this baby rabid personal ad poster.

P.S. Be sure to check out the Lexicon of Spawn, a collection of child free slang via wikiapedia.

You're so crazy, I think I want to have your baby!! - 30(San Francisco)

Its pretty simple. I am 30 and there is no long line of suitors in sight, so I am hoping to find a healthy straight guy with a good heart, that would like to enable my dream of being a mother. This isn't a rigid add full of expectations, and I am certainly flexible in considering what you have to offer but this is what I am looking for:

1) a Straight, healthy and medically screened candidate (blue eyes a plus).

2) Physical Attraction and chemistry for the best chances of conceiving.

3) A contract, outlining the terms of our "engagement" and I don't mean wedding. For example, you may want visitation and to be a part of the kids life. I may want $1500.00 a month stipend strictly for daycare and school costs. The $1500.00 of course will be facilitated in a legal manner that will prohibit the need to argue over money.

4) I have a great job and great benefits so I may want to pop out two or three over the next couple of years. Back to back. I want them close in age. You don't have to be there, but if that's important to you.....I am flexible on that.

5) I have a great supportive family and can handle the rest.

If you are as crazy as I am, and think this may be something you would consider....we should meet and talk in person.

About Me:
  • 30
  • Disease and Drug Free
  • Successful
  • Animal Lover
  • Tons of close friends with children who can't wait to help me.
  • Straight
  • Methodist
  • Attractive
  • Athletic
  • Excited to have a baby.

Related: Pre-Pregasauras Evolution

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