10/22/08

Carpets & Drapes

Editor's Note: This personal ad forced us to research the various dying practices used for ridding the nether regions of those pesky grey hairs. We have to admit the entire process was far too interesting not to share.

We discovered some people used the leftovers from dying the hair on their head to cover the grey on their what nots. Others used products like Betty, which advertises that it is "color for the hair down there." Plus one can receive a matching nail polish.

Still, others choose a merkin. A merkin is a pubic wig that has been around for centuries.In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a merkin was employed.

According to one seller's website, merkins are "available in all colors, the merkin is the perfect way to hide those little imperfections...Paste one on and look oh-so-natural. You'll be able to rejoin your favorite nudist colony."
/end lesson
Just found a Grey Pubic Hair - 39 (Dallas )m4w

Yikes! Damn this getting old thing is depressing. I go to the mall and my jaw drops and my tongue drags the ground at all these little 18 and 19 year olds. My mind thinks, damn where were all these women when I was 19?

Now I go to the can, look down and see Grey and think, shit I was 33 the last time I got laid where has life gone? Sad thing, was Bobble Head Bush even President last time I saw a naked woman in my bed... I cannot remember.

So here I go posting, I am 39 (yes half way to dead), I am 5'9 with Blond Hair (for now) and Blue Eyes.

I am looking for the most amazing and awesome woman out there... But I'll settle for a nympho with a pulse....

I'd love to have the type of Arm Candy you see on Hugh Hefner, but I'll settle for anything smaller than Shamoo....

Persian, Asian, Hispanic and White get top priority, but a wet whole that doesn't require flower to find is also acceptable...
**Update: Special shout out to Sara at Lovely Listing: It's Lovely I'll Take It. One of our writers contributed a rental listing from NYC. BTW, welcome to new visitors as well. Thanks for traffic! Feel free to email any bad or crazy personal ad to solojax07ATgmail.com!**

Related: Nice Slice of Fur Pie

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This poster sounds like the main character from American Beauty. BTW Betty comes in blue and one can dye in shapes. Perfect for the holidays