A letter to my little roommate. (Houston)--M4W
The only reason I'm writing this,is because I can't find you.With you being a cockroach,and me being a human,people might think I'm just a little whacked for writing this.
BTW too late and it is supposed to be personal ad not a PETA placement. Besides you have roaches in your apartment!
When I stepped in from the patio,and I saw you run inside,I could have stepped on you,but with me being the nice person I am,you wouldn't have to worry about that,and I know it is really hot outside.I've been a little lonely lately,and just thought I could catch you anytime I wanted to,and put you back outside.
I just broke up with my girlfriend,and would like some female company,not you.Do you always like to crash someones house,and just make yourself at home.
When I'm watching tv,sometimes I catch you sitting up by the teddy bear,and taking a little peek,and when I come over to grab you,you have the fastest feet I've ever seen,and I just don't have the energy to chase you around the room.
You see we have a problem here,because I don't think woman like cockroachs like you. I like to go dancing,and sometimes I will have a lady come over for a little while,and if she sees you,she might start screaming,and romance will not be coming.Wine, flowers, beautiful music, and you. Don't think so.
I need something you like to catch you,and if I only knew what it is. Do you like pizza, burgers,or how about a blueberry muffin.I bet you would really go for cookies and milk.
What kind of music do you like. Are you in to j-zee, snoop dog,with a little bow wow every once in a while,or are you a josh grobin kind of roach.
SRSLY, stop sniffing the Raid can!
I'm at my wits end about you,and don't want to call the orkin man. I know you don't want to see that bully.
I guess I'll have to finish this letter later,because I have to get ready to go dancing,but don't worry I'll leave the air and mtv on for you. If you hear four feet come through the door,make sure you scatter,because thats only fair. I'll try to finish this tomorrow.
Enjoy this clip from Joe's Apartment.