8/15/08

Something Else to Poop On

I might be the Most Interesting Dog in The World (Austin)-m4w
My name is General Heinrich von Dasher; I am a pure bred Miniature Pinscher.

I will tell you straight up, there is nothing miniature about me. I have a serious issue with folks that think I am something less than a dog, because I am small.

I will let my resume speak for itself. Although, I am only 10 months old; I am very experienced in all aspects of the adult canine relationship. I have eclectic,epicurean tastes; that run from fine dining to the appreciation of unique odors. I have always been a “Renaissance Man”, who appreciates and understands the “Art of Loving” and chicks’ in little black dresses. I have an immense knowledge of international cuisine; rare whine and I also have a taste for your shorts.

You ask yourself, “Why would I want to be involved with such a dog; whose priorities are so diverse, qualities so rare and whose main desire is to educate, salivate and graduate a Lady Min Pin with a Masters Degree in advanced canine love making. If you have never been to the Kama Sutra Kennel...read on...

My physical condition baffles Veterinarians and female canines alike. I have the perfect bone structure of a Royal Egyptian Min Pin and have been linked genetically to such great dogs as, Molly from Piquippsea,Fred from Cedar Falls and the 'Taco Bell" Chihuahua. Yo habla muchachitos. I don't speak the language...I don't need to. Not only do I run from a standing stop to 150 mph in 6 seconds, I also have time to smell the flowers along the way and whatever else I stick my nose in.

I do not want to brag, but I have an unlimited supply of food going on here. My Master must not have a clue when it comes to feeding us dogs. This idiot keeps my bowl full 24/7. Then, to top it off, feeds me greasy pickings and little condensed “power bones” all day long. He is pretty cool. Plus, we sleep in 600 thread count sheets, with a black fluffy comforter that is to die for. I sleep well. Do you? Plus there is this really old guy running around dropping food and spilling stuff all the time. I can have a 5 course meal in the folds of his recliner. He is funny...I call him "Grand Pappy Schnack" he is fly...
The life of a Playboy Min Pin would not be complete without the requisite Lakeside condo, stereo and whine cellar and treasure trove of various chewables: UT hightops, a new sleeve of Tennis balls, and a bunch of cheap homemade junk that Dave made.I prefer my chew to be freshly washed 'white Nike low cut socks' from JC Penny. I usually spend my days sunning on the deck, shredding the Statesman editorial page and contemplating my next big movement. I have been known to rustle deer from slumber, startle possum, fall in the water, almost drown and get run over by various moving objects, lock Dave out of the PT Cruiser at the Gas Station and yet I am always ready for more action. Wink! Wink!

I am really just your generic and down to earth bohemian, who loves all the fluff and stuff in life. I am politically connected through Dave and I have launched a Blog: Dasher's Journalistic Musings 2008. The premise is to re-educate the world on the qualities of Cat Meat and rid the planet of Idiots. I am very sensitive to your emotional requirements and love to just sit around throw on some tunes, maybe chew someething expensive,and just reflect in life in general and my next comfortable stool.

I can dress up (Dave got me a kick-ass sweater…”Bitches Dig Me”) or not wear any clothes at all. I am like that...Free and Easy Baby!!! Although...I am not looking to breed on the first date. If that is a requirement for you then you are barking up the wrong tree, Lassie!
Ultimately my goal is to settle down into a long term, extremely lazy relationship. If you think you have what it takes, call me or leave a note on the tree, I might sniff it and get back to you.

I might be the most interesting DOG in the world. Dasher!

Respond only if you are dog lover! Smell you later?
Editor's Note: We believe that Triumph is the most entertaining dog in the world. Enjoy. (PS Language a little NSFW).

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