Personal Ads Headlines w/ Translations

Editor's Note: We read a ton of personal ads every week and often we just collect the headlines. These headlines we publish in sad little bundle list, like this one.

This time a note from a long time reader: Enough Stupid Fucking Headlines already! I read it and I'm thinking "wow... what REALLY IS behind door number three... cause this door? This is the door to crazy town... population YOU." We decided to include some of his suggested headlines plus his "truth-speak" translations in this post. Thanks again for submitting.

Someone to enjoy my free time with! - 31

"I my vibrator batteries are running low"

The Sweet & Innocent - 24
"I've been burned more times than a grill."

Help me! I've tried posting before, but ….. - 24

"I'm helpless without my daddy."

More Cushion for the Pushin' - 34
"All you can eat!"

Settling into a groove - 22
"Finally getting child support."

anyone else not at lollapalooza tonight and wishing they had a ticket? - 28
"I don't have a car."

Checking things out - 31
"Just got dumped."

A good day is what you make it - 33
"Pass the anti-depressants."

Easy going Woman - 19
"I have a bong collection."

Described as elusive &sexy, but really I'm just charming and witty. - 30
"I have an invisible friend and don't get many dates... care to come over for a tea party?"

I'm A Catch! - 26
"Charlie the Tuna seeks man with BIG ROD."

Fun and sexxxxxxxy! - 30
"I'm easier than ramen noodles."


Melissa said...

These are freakin' awesome!! Bookmarked!

So-lo said...

:) Thanks for the comments. Keep them up. Feels good to have a readership.