6/27/08

Random thoughts on midgets

Random thoughts on midgets, saved by the bell, and tourettes - 27 (Dallas)

I have an army of trained midgets who I can summon from anywhere to bring me shots of jaigermeister and cold beer. I feed them carrots. Sometimes for fun I shout obscenities at my neighbors and then claim I have Tourette's.

I've noticed that old people only come outside between the hours of 6am and 12pm, after that they stay indoors and do crossword puzzles. I like speaking French at drive thrus because let's face it, they can't speak english either.

I'm convinced that Paris Hilton is a Virgin and it's all a complicated act to garnish publicity. I cringe when I see popped collars or hairy guys not wearing undershirts. I like sports, but not baseball.

I'm random.

I don't do lists, more like throw anything in the cart that looks appetizing and lets go, which usually means I end up with pizza and beer. Oh, and I have seen every Saved By The Bell episode and loved them all. Greatest show on tv, ever! Can't convince me otherwise

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