HATE my Life--56 M4W (San Francisco, CA)
This is not a rant.
This is just an honest attempt to be real.
Cut thru the Fog of Naive Idealism...the Dating Wunderland.
I really do hate my life. About 2 days out of 7, I want it just to be over and done with. On other days, I'm actually happy and grateful for the blessing that come my way. Go figure.
And I hate it mostly because I have such a difficult time with relationships.
Intimate ones, that is. So I hate it especially when another holiday weekend rolls around and I know I'm going to be bored to death and feel isolated.
I hate it because of where the Culture has wound up and is heading...
I hate it because of the big pile of dead dreams in my back 40.
I hate it because men and women can barely talk to one another anymore.
I hate it because the economy forces us to live like slaves, and run like rats, and ignore all the madness we are slammed up against minute by minute, just so we can stay focused enough to get the next thing necessary to our physical survival accomplished while we just give up on our spiritual and emotional survival.
Many of the women on CL and other sites seem to be very happy with their lives.
They've reached middle age and they have family, dogs, lots of friends and money to travel with. If this is you...GET LOST!
I want someone who knows what it's like to SUFFER!
Daily, weekly, monthly, yearly....decade by decade.
I want someone who when they meet someone who says, "I've never been depressed a day in my life! Oh, maybe once...when my husband John crashed the SUV into my Mercedes one night and I sat in bed all morning the next day until he brought me some fresh squeezed orange juice and promised he'd never do it again! I guess I was a little depressed then!" thinks to themselves....WTF must that be like?
On the other hand, I'd prefer it if you weren't taking Prozac! I'd rather you were managing your misery thru natural means. You know potatos, not prozac.
I know I'm asking alot . But there's got to be someone out there who is miserable but not supporting Pfizer!
I want someone who is somewhat self-aware also. Someone who has at least attempted to work thru all the misery and realizes that it's mostly caused by their own traumas and glitches in their own karmic destiny.
Can you talk about it? If not, move on. Can you stop talking about it? If not, move on.
Would you like to cultivate the emotional safety of real intimacy to work through some of this crap you haven't been able to shed yet?
I want someone who's a tad eccentric...not entirely conventional in her thinking and her ways.
I want someone local to Marin or south of Santa Rosa who enjoys nature and a holistic lifestyle. Someone who enjoys hiking locally for a couple of hours but doesn't necessarily need to go skiing or backbacking in the Sierras every weekend. Hiking and biking are my number one favorite activities so be fit and able but I like to keep it local and not too extreme.
I want someone under 55, HWP...not into heavy types, sorry! wish I was...rubenesque maybe but fit.
Negotiable...kids, the Opera, dancing, who knows?
Non-negotiable...smoking, drugs, extreme destructive behaviors...
Nuff said....that's what I want. Tell me what's missing in your life and what you're looking for. This is not a one liner post so one liner responses will be deleted. If you want a reply, send a pic and tell me something real. Cough your hairball up but keep it under 5000 words, please.
Till then...I will indulge on a semi-regular basis in hating my life!!!!!!!!!
Editor's Note: We have included an educational video on What is Emo?