3/10/08

Lez B Friends?

Bible-Beating Gun-Toter seeks homosexual courtship - 25 w4w (New Orleans)

First of all, homosexuality is a sin. Let’s get that out of the way right off the bat. So most of ya’ll reading this in the women for women section are going to hell. I know you probably don’t want to hear that, but I believe it is my duty to tell you. Sorry.

On the off chance that some of you might want to avoid burning for eternity with Satan in the fiery pits of hell, I would refer you to both Exodus International and the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality. Through the power of Christ, you can be changed.


Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, what I am seeking is an open-minded woman to engage in homosexual courtship with me. As I mentioned earlier, homosexuality is a sin, however, I am still young and figure that God is not likely to strike me down as long as I repent before I am thirty.

This leaves me five good years of sodomy. Though this may not be enough time to fully realize a homosexual courtship, the woman I seek will be completely welcome to come with me while we find change through the power of our lord and savior Jesus Christ. After the Lord has come fully into our world, we will, I am sure, resolve to be heterosexual life partners.


Since I have resolved to walk among the sodomites, I feel that I must truly immerse myself in the sin so that I may know fully its evils (knowledge that will no doubt help me upon my renunciation of the homosexual lifestyle). Therefore, I am hoping to meet only the most depraved of homosexual women (ex. see below).

You should be a member in good standing of the Democratic party and preferably a transplant from one of the god-forsaken lands such as Saudi Arabia or Vermont. You must oppose my right to own my assault rifle and if you have had an abortion or are planning on one, you may be the sodomite for me. A belief in evolution is a must. Birkenstock footwear is preferred.


God bless you (despite your unnatural lust for women)

Now enjoy "Chris Farley Trying to Pick up Girls at the Mall" video.

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