1/23/08

Hand to Gland Combat

My hands are all "grabby, grabby"-m4w
Last night, the very unexpected happened. While watching "Family Guy," I reached my left hand toward the popcorn...and my right hand reached for my wee-and I don't mean Nintendo Wii. Wow! Talk about the "hand being quicker than the eye."

Since my right hand had been holding the wine, I brushed it off as innocent, intoxicated flirtation.

But, it happened again while I was pumping gas, getting a haircut, buying Krispy Kreme doughnuts, and rock climbing. Now, it's become innapropriate and dangerous.

I gave my hand a stern talking to. The next thing you know, it began to glow, yelled something in Japanese and went straight for my groin. OMG. It was like a bad hentai film. Fortunatley, I wrestled a black glove onto it to disorient it.

It worked. But, now I look like Adigan Skywalker-with an appealing tan. At least, that's what the other strippers call me.

To make matters worse, it's begun talking to my left hand about the "power of the dark side" and taking control of my battle station. You can imagine what the battle station is.

I think some fun casual sex, where my hands are "tag-teaming" someone else other than me should calm them down.

If you're a single, white woman who's STD free, under 50, and have a great sense of humor, please reply. Since, driving has become... a problem, local women are prefered. I'm single, STD free, 5'9", 158lbs, muscular, and Kryptonian. Just kidding. I'm really Venusian :)

Help me SWF. You're my only hope. Digitized image 4 Digitized image (pic 4 pic)

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