4/2/05

007 Loser Alert..

How much time do people have on their hands? Damn???
Female Operative Needed for Long Term Surveillance Operation - 28
Your taking this assignment is, of course, entirely voluntary. This particular operation would require you to leave the Bureau virtually permanently if the initial phase is a success so we are taking volunteers only. You can, of course, decide to leave the operation at any time.
Description:
The subject of this operation is a Caucasian male, approximately 28 years of age, 5'10" 175 pounds, slim to athletic build, clean shaven, blonde hair with blue eyes. The subject is of Austrian-Swiss and Northern Italian decent but arrived in America at a young age. Schooled in the Midwestern United States until 17 and then at University in the Eastern United States he can for all intents and purposes pass easily and without conflict as an American citizen. He has virtually no accent, but traces of an Oxford English accent emerge if the subject is agitated. The subject has no immediately discernable scars or other physical maladies.
Physical Ability and Classification:
The suspect should be regarded with extreme caution. Although he appears of slim build, the subject possesses significant athletic ability. He is known to have studied the Japanese art of Aikido for at least 6 years and served in the Swiss Alpine Corps in an airborne unit at a young age. The subject is a certified coast guard captain and sails avidly. The subject is an exceptional skier and competed semi-professionally in alpine downhill at a young age. The subject studied Olympic fencing for 9 years and is therefore adept in the use of the fencing foil and has a catlike disposition when agitated or alarmed. The subject also possesses a 5 handicap in equestrian polo and can be assumed to be a riding expert
Social Interaction:
As a former diplomat the subject possesses exceptionally adroit social skills and easily blends into any environment from high society to Eastern European to South American to collegiate bar to artistic coffee house. On several occasions our agents have witnessed the subject hosting upscale cocktail parties in the San Francisco and Chicago areas.
Relationships/Sexual Persuasion: Some confusion originally existed with respect to the subject's sexual persuasion. Two novice agents noted the subject wearing an ascot and, being ignorant in the nuances of European style, incorrectly assumed the subject to be homosexual. Corroborating this mistake was the subject's documented and unusual cooking expertise (souffles in particular), habit of overdressing, propensity to turn down dates with women of all ages and persuasions as well as his ability to get out stains of all origins and colors. It has since become clear that the subject is decidedly heterosexual, primarily monogamous but quite picky in selecting partners. The subject seems to tend towards longer term relationships based on deep trust and fidelity. Adept agents will attempt to capitalize on this feature
The subject appears to have had substantial bad luck in past relationships- which have involved unstable or otherwise psychologically impaired significant others- in at least two cases substantial personal tragedies unrelated to the subject caused the significant other to break off long term relations with the subject.
Operative's Objective:
This is a "sleeper" deep cover operation. Your task will be to get close to the subject, and by (ahem) whatever means necessary establish a relationship with the subject and gain his trust and confidence. Ideally, you should cultivate a close relationship with the subject over as long a period as possible, perhaps even years, during which time you will maintain cover as the subject's associate (or other unspecified relation) until further tasked by the bureau. Once you have introduced yourself into his affairs you should endeavor to learn anything you can about his activities, interests, desires, travels, business affairs, philosophies, intellectual pursuits, hobbies, likes, dislikes and so forth..
Operational Methodology:
The successful agent will be between the ages of 22 and 32 with a preference to the 24-26 age group. Younger agents must have substantial operational experience to be considered for selection. Agents should be between 5'4 and 5'11 with a preference for the 5'6 - 5'10 range. Agents should be highly intelligent and intellectually as well as psychologically sound. Agents should possess exceptional educational experience. The successful agent should mirror the subject's political and intellectual beliefs and pursuits as closely as possible. The agent must be of slim to athletic build. The subject's rumored eye for members of the opposite sex with red hair has been noted and should recommend redheaded agents as leading (but not exclusive) candidates for the operation. All agent candidates must possess a current passport. The successful agent will have completed the following agency courses and be proficient in the skills taught therein:
Espionage 104 - Snobby Cocktail Parties as a Source of Espionage Contacts
Espionage 105 - Gathering Intelligence in Dives
Espionage 106 - Etiquette for Agents International Espionage
202 - International Travel Clinic Intelligence
302 - Political Analysis Intelligence
404 - International Affairs and Current Events Espionage
202 - Encryption Espionage 405 - Honey Traps and Male Subjects
Espionage 504 - Advanced Seduction Techniques (Female Agents - Restricted Enrollment)
Espionage 509 - Therapeutic Massage, Hypnosis Pillowtalk and Afterglow in Interrogation Techniques
I understand that this is a big decision for a young agent. You need not decide now. If you wish to take the operation submit your completed application via the anonymous remailing system (photo is mandatory) with a description of the agent's qualifications and skills as well as the tactics and methodology the agent expects to use to complete the first phase of the operation. All applications will receive replies
If your application is accepted you will be given cover documentation, survellance photos and other personal details of the subject and may attend other briefings relevant to the operation. A handler will be assigned and contact codes and communications security procedures will be outlined.

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